just a thought: #21

by iren monkey

I used to believe what everyone claimed…that as humans, we naturally seek companionship; but correction:  we naturally seek attention and acceptance because it can translate to affection.  we must be reminded though — affection does not always equate to a lasting companionship because affection is a purely subjective concept.

i used to let my relationships (or lack thereof) affect my mood.  i later discovered that the insufficiency of attention and acceptance are what truly skewed the quality of my daily existence — i realize now in my thirties that it’s just a natural response attributed to my twenties.  my theory is only validated when i observe the people in the twenty-something age range whom i hold close.

attention and acceptance can be received from everyone, so the moment i don’t receive it from one person is not the end-all-be-all of the matter.  to dwell on the feeling of rejection from one person is a waste of energy and time.  for example, if one person doesn’t give you what you want, why do you think that there is some sort of relief in receiving them from someone else? a friend, a family member, another romantic prospect?

i like to believe that what is meant to be, will be.  so anything that is thwarted just was not.  now granted, there is a natural selectivity and preference at any given moment, but regardless, there is still some sort of reprieve if you open yourself up for it.

i gravitate towards the theory that we are meant to follow our own paths…and if someone is there following the same path with you, then by all means, you’re meant for each other…but if you have to veer off just to have a companion, i think you’re only setting yourself up to get lost.

i’ve found that the day i decided to focus on what i would like to accomplish alone was when i finally felt free.  free from everyone else’s obligations, expectations, and disappointments.  my own path felt natural and i wasn’t chained down by the world and my misguided twenty-something self.

so shake the aspiration to marry, or rather, the fear of being alone from your daily thought process and be free.  as humans, we truly just want freedom.  it is when we are freed that we are happy.  and in happiness, it doesn’t matter if we’re alone.